Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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