He disabled his match.com account in front of me
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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