Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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