This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he thought i was a dude.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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