Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
