Got a toothbrush?
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
