I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
