coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did we literally take a cab across the street
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
