I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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