I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
