First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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