Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
