we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
