I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
