angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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