I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
