I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
