I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
