I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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