He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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