I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
