I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
