I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
