I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
