I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
