Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
