i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
