You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Drunk is not a location!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
