Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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