Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
