Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
