Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
