You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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