Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
