Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
