my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
