Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where is the hickey?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
