I heard we made out
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
