You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
