32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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