I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
