I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
