wakey wakey hands off snakey
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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