i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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