Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
