so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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