You work out of a Hotel?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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