They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I love having hate sex.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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