she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
