I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
