Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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