Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
