apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
