im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
