One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
